I have a lot of mummy friends because of what I do and how I show up in the world. Some stay at home mums have shared with me that they didn’t choose to stay home with their kids. There is some frustration around that because they would rather go to jobs and make money so they can get a nanny instead of staying home all day, every day. Others didn’t know they would choose to stay home until they had kids. When the work leave was over, they decided they couldn’t leave their babies at home with anyone, not even daddy, so they chose to stay home. My story is a bit different from these two thoughts.
As a youth corper, I realized I didn’t want a 9-5 job. I thought that working those hours for someone else was like selling my time and the money was never enough to inspire me to sell my time. Also, I cannot do anything that requires me to sit behind a desk for long hours. As a lawyer, I had to read through tons of uninspiring documents, read the papers, watch the news, etc. These things were not things I would have chosen so I already knew the 9-5 space wasn’t for me. Worse, I didn’t think I was entrepreneurial. I didn’t think I had it in me to start something that would be worth anything.
In 2015, I saw the Ugandan maid video and I was traumatized. I was 8 months pregnant with my son at the time. I had agreed that when my son turned 6 months, I’d get a paying job to support my growing family. After watching that video, I was sure I wasn’t going to leave my son with anyone for any amount of money. All plans to work suddenly went up in smoke.
I told my husband that I would stay home with our son. We were going to have to live on his income because nothing was going to take me out of my son’s sight. Thankfully, I have a strong support system as my parents put me on a monthly income then. According to them, they didn’t want too much burden on my new home. Bless them.
By the time I got pregnant for the second time, I knew I had to do something to bring in money. It had always been a dream of mine to control my time. I didn’t want to sell it. I also wanted to be able to stay home and make money so I started thinking about things I could do to make that a reality. I looked at what was already working for me. My writing. I love writing. It is like my super power if I ever had one. I remembered my dream as a child to write tons of books. I started dreaming about writing books. I thought, “every birthday I can release a new book and have writing and speaking gigs in-between.”
On my birthday this year, I released my first book and that was the beginning of a series of events that confirmed I was on track. After I released my book and started making money from it, I realized I could do whatever I wanted to do and make money.
My commitment to staying home with my kids developed into this thing. A friend said, “thank you for blessing us with you presence and becoming this Boobmum that you are.” I laughed because the whole Boobthing started as a joke. I noticed some shame around being a stay at home mum and I wanted to own my journey and honour my soul. I thought about other stay at home mums and the shame they have to deal with. I thought we could start a support group to help mothers own their journies. Mothering The Mother was born.
I have already declared that I want money and I am deserving of it. I am making my own money for the first time in my life and not feeling guilty about it. I have also owned my journey and accepted this part of me that is dedicated to catering to children. Not just mine, but the children of the world, When I host meetings for mummies (and soon daddies and nannies), I am reaching beyond the kids that came to the world through me, to other children wherever they might be.
I don’t know where it will all lead but I know that it feels right. I am in alignment with my highest purpose and I am holding space for those who are trying to get in alignment, especially where children are involved. I have made a smooth transition to becoming a stay at home mummy by owning it and even giving it a name, Boobmum. Now I hope to help other mummies (and daddies) make that shift.