Lessons I’ve learned from my Strong-Willed Son

Interview: This 2018 the Lagos matchmaker wants to help you find your soulmate
January 15, 2018
Show all

Lessons I’ve learned from my Strong-Willed Son

Hello everyone, my name is Opeoluwa Awosanya. I’m a beautiful wife to a great husband, a mom to three wonderful kids, a girl, and two boys.

My girl is fifteen going on sixteen in few months, my first boy is eleven going on twelve very soon, he tells me he is a Preteen, and my surprise addition is a fantastic four, who can’t wait to clock five in September. He tells me ‘I’m a big boy, bigger than the babies”. He is a very strong-willed, sweet, loving and compassionate child.

I would be talking mainly about my experience with my little mister, he is so different from his siblings, this boy sure gave me a hard time.

My hubby and I noticed that anytime we go for his siblings band performances, while the students are playing, and everywhere is dead silent, that is when our little mister would decide to just yell for nothing, he was about two years then, I mean, there were a lot of kids of his age in the hall, my hubby had to quickly take him out on several occasions.

We even stopped eating out because he can’t just sit still, he enjoys yelling in public places, and so difficult to tame, it was as if we never raised a kid. Then, shortly after he turned three, my son comes home from daycare with one negative report or another, he would not listen to teachers, would not follow directions, talks back to his teachers, you can’t tell him what to do. I get calls from the school very often, I would scold him, spank him on his bottom, dad disciplines him too, and I would always tell that him I’m not happy with him because he is not behaving well. He would say “I’m sorry mom, I would be good next time” in his tiny voice. I had to buy a small wooden spatula, kept it in my handbag, just to instill some discipline.

My little boy was stylishly suspended from the daycare so as not to influence other kids, it was the end of that school year, so he was home for the entire summer break

Sometimes, around the time he was about one or two years, a friend shared about a book on my whatsapp page – “The Strong Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson, I read about other parents experiences, and some of the suggestions by Dr. Dobson are; as a parent, one needs to stand his/her ground in disciplining, very firm in giving instructions, and not negotiating with these little ones, for example, when I wake my boy up in the morning to get him ready for school, I tell him we brush your teeth first, my boy tells me, no, I want to eat first, I have to stand my ground that he has to obey what mom says, because I know my son is strong willed, he wants things done in his own way, on his terms, I have to help him understand that he needs to obey authority, Dr. Dobson also talked about sparing the rod, spoiling the child, I’m an African, I understand that so well.

 

My little mister turned four, a new school year began, we changed his school, two weeks went by, no bad report, I was so happy, come the third week, here we go again, he does not get skittles (candy) from his teacher because he is not listening, and not following directions, he talks when teacher is teaching, does not do his work when told to do so, plays with his food during lunchtime, and the list goes on and on.

His teacher puts up a behavior chart for him, it comprises of 6 different items; when he behaves well he gets spiderman sticker. I could count the number of days my boy comes home with two stickers out of 6, he is either rolling on the floor in car line, when he is supposed to stay in line, or talking during story time, or not following directions on the play ground. It’s always one complaint or the other. I actually got fed up with spanking him.

There was a day I got a call from the school, that my little boy said to his teacher that he would shoot her, I was speechless, at the same I was thinking in my mind that, this is a four-year-old for crying out loud. Of course, I had to tell the administrator such would never happen again before we get suspended again.

So, when we got home, I asked my boy why he said that to his teacher, my boy replied, “I don’t have a gun mom”. I almost fell off the chair. I have no idea where he got that from, we do not have a gun, we are very careful of the kind of movies we allow our kids to watch, as a matter of fact, I introduced Veggie tales movies to him ever since he was a baby. Veggie tales movies teach good character, very good for kids.

So we began a new journey, all along I would pray for him that God would help him to be positively strong willed, I believe in the power of prayer. I stumbled on particular scripture that says ” my children would be taught of the Lord, and great would be their peace” Is 54:13.

So every morning when I’m getting him ready for school, I tell him to say after me, “I am taught of the Lord, I will not cause my parents trouble, I will not cause my teachers trouble, I will not cause my friends trouble, I will listen, I will follow direction, great is my peace in Jesus name, Amen”. My son knows his confessions/ declarations so well, when I forget, he reminds me line by line, word for word. The power of positive confession, I did not spare the rod if need be. We won. My little mister is well behaved, he gets skittles, he gets 6 stickers, no more bad reports, his teacher tells me, he has been so good now.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *