2019 Mumpreneur Goal Setting Workshop
January 15, 2019

The day I realized for a fact that it was entirely up to me to CHOOSE MY THOUGHTS… regardless of circumstance or context, was the day I happened upon liberty like never before.

I’d heard it said before; I’d absorbed it peripherally – well – sort of; but I’d just never paid keen attention to it or applied it. Here’s how I had my epiphany.

There was this one day I was in my room fuming over something my husband had done, working myself up and allowing my mood become extremely foul. I’m pretty certain you can relate to this: replaying the scenario in my head with all the possible alternatives he could have opted for which would have made perfect sense to me and not rubbed me the wrong way; wondering why he would choose to do something when he knew it would get to me; taking it a step further and very nearly concluding he just might have done it intentionally; beginning to ask why on earth he would do a thing like that intentionally to the woman he claimed to love; beginning to question the actual depth of his love for me because – you know – sometimes we go down that route from something totally unrelated. How we make all these random connections at times beats me! But we do, don’t we?

Suddenly it hit me that I was all by myself letting my thoughts run riot and basically making myself utterly miserable by focusing on so much negativity. On coming to that realisation, I just said to myself, “Madam, you will give yourself an aneurysm and he won’t even have a clue! Choose happiness”. Of course, my next thought was, “How do I do that?”

I really didn’t have any idea how, to be candid. I like to think of myself as somewhat intelligent and basically able to think things through or figure stuff out, but on that day, I couldn’t seem to come up with any super-bright options. So I did something really silly: I began to sing the most ridiculous, hilarious songs I could think of; songs so ‘yeye’ that I ended up laughing at myself for singing them.

Songs from the playground in Primary School; songs from secondary school ‘Socials’; songs that my friends and I would tease ourselves with way back when.

Guess what happened? Before long I began to laugh – at myself, at the memories the songs evoked, at the silliness of it all. The interesting thing is…it worked. I didn’t exactly forget what had upset me earlier. It just wasn’t up front and centre any longer so I could let it go. I could think about it, look upon it and no longer feel choked by it.

I was also able to revisit it later, with far greater objectivity and a whole lot less rancour. My perspective was altered because my mood had changed, so although the issue remained the issue my position was a lot less antagonistic, giving room for the kind of dialogue that could lead to a resolution at best, or us agreeing to disagree at the worst.

However, I will never, ever forget that day because happiness was a choice, not a feeling. The experience sort of cemented that reality for me and contrary to popular belief, I have found it to be the truth.

Does that mean that I don’t sometimes forget this lesson so profoundly learnt? I wish that were the case. I slip from time to time and sometimes, I slip BIG. Doesn’t change the fact that I have the power to choose – each and every time.

The very best part of this story is that so do you! Choose joy today: be intentional about your happiness as often as you can.

Eite Lesijolu
Eite Lesijolu
Eite Eric-Nwabuzor is God's Princess. He caught her attention distinctly with His amazing love in her first year at University and He's been the core of her existence since: through thick and thin.
She is a lawyer by qualification, with a decade of work experience in human capacity development, social enterprise, corporate affairs and administration.
Currently, she's an evolving woman, finding and stirring up the many gifts buried within and seeking to give them the fullest, freest expression.
She's brilliant, fun, simple and open; and likes to describe herself as a woman on a journey, following her Father's leading wherever it may take her - not bound by or limited to labels.
A funky wife, a yummy mummy, a worshipper at heart and a true fashionista, her intent is to live the very best possible life and make every minute count: for purpose, posterity and eternity.
Her life goal is to enable everyone she comes into contact with do exactly the same.

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